BD Sucks
by xxkonstantine
Summary: Drabble written for LJ's rarepairshorts prompt "mum's the word": Sometimes reading can get too much. Warning: Includes Breaking Dawn bashing


"Shhhhhhh!!" snapped Cedric.

Oliver retracted his hand from Cedric's shoulder rather quickly. This was silly; when Cedric was holed up in the library studying, Oliver had to be quiet. When Cedric was in the courtyard, lounging around however, Oliver _still _had to be quiet. Didn't the Hufflepuff already realize that it was hard enough for him to keep his hands off Cedric's body, let alone keep quiet? God, Cedric must've read the manual that contained the instructions on how to push his buttons.

"What could you be doing that could be more important than me?" inquired Wood, placing his chin on Diggory's shoulder.

Cedric could only spare Oliver a small flick of his wrist; a motion that Oliver was so familiar with by now he wouldn't even be able to count how many times he was on the receiving end of them.

"What are you reading anyways? That doesn't look like something for class," he commented.

Cedric replied; his nose still buried deep inside his book.

"It's a muggle-book. You know, non-magical writing? We studied general literature last term in Muggle Studies, and I picked up the habit somewhere along the way. It's pretty cool, actually."

Oliver rolled his eyes. Only his boyfriend could manage something so ridiculous.

"So what's the book about?"

"It's called Breaking Dawn, came out yesterday too. I had my mother to go out to a muggle bookstore in London to pick it up and send it to me. It's the fourth book in the series: it's about a vampire who falls in love with a muggle and such."

Oliver laughed heartily. That was even sillier than his boyfriend's new addiction.

"If muggles can't even figure out that witches and wizards _do _exist, how can they know vampires do?"

At this, Cedric rolled his eyes.

"I don't read it to learn about the history of magical creatures, Oliver. I read it for the romance," Cedric stated, "and Edward Cullen," he added as an afterthought.

Somewhere from the bush behind them came a couple of high-pitched squeals and giggles. When Cedric heard the girls, he lifted his eyes above his book, and winked in the general direction, before digging himself back into his book.

"God, you can pay attention to the first years that stalk you, but not to me. I see how it is now."

Wood pulled a face, not too pleased with such a conclusion. Cedric however, answered in kind, his voice teasing Oliver slightly.

"When I finish this book in an hour, come find me, okay? I'll make it up to you."

Satisfied with his boyfriend's offer, the Gryffindor left the Hufflepuff to his own devices, with a knowing smirk plastered across his face.

STEPHANIE MEYER'S IMPENDING DOOM, and an hour later –

The state Oliver found his cute and very handsome fifth year was rather disappointing.

Because judging by the way Cedric was moaning and groaning, it didn't sound too promising.

And it definitely wasn't that sort of moaning and groaning.

"What's wrong now? Didn't you finish that Edward book?"

By the way things were looking, Oliver figured that Cedric was going to be bald within the next week, considering the rate the Hufflepuff seemed to be tugging at his hair.

"That's what's wrong. I should've never had read that book. Ever."

Secretly, Oliver smiled with glee. He knew he shouldn't have taken pleasure in his boyfriend's despair, but it was rather fun to torment Cedric this way.

"Well, what happened?"

Cedric did not skip a beat before ranting to Wood about abysmal the book turned out to be.

"I want to send it back to my mum and never see it again. It was the worst book I have ever read. The author ruined the whole book by talking about boy-girl sex and I wanted to gouge my eyes out!"

"I thought you loved Edward Cullen, or whatever his name is."

"Shhhhhh!!! Do not _ever _say his name _ever_ again! I don't want to hear anyone mention that book!"

The seventh-year tried to stifle his laughter, but seemed to fail miserably.

"Well, now you know. When it comes to spending time, muggle books are not a good substitute for boyfriends."

Cedric sulked and whacked Wood with the unwanted book, before chasing the Gryffindor around the quad.

Maybe Cedric would now learn to not read as much.


End file.
